Theperson with a High Intellectual Potentialfrequently develops a high sensitivity to the outside world called hypersensitivity. I'm not going to go back in detail on thefunctioning of hypersensitive personsbecause that was the subject of the previous article. For the delayers, I have included below the two recapitulative infographics in which you will find some great ideas mentioned. Today, I am interested in a "problem" related to managing my emotions: how do I manage my hypersensitivity? In fact, until then, I have been much documented about what it was like to be a hypersensitive gifted, but very little about how to manage his emotions, his great emotionality, his emotional potential.
So I will start by talking about the difficulties of hypersensitivity and the problems that arise. This will then help to better identify potential solutions. Also, I would like to point out that I will speak here only of hypersensitivity emotional – and not sensory. Indeed, the latter is linked to a sensory integration felt as painful of sensory stimuli by the nervous system. It's a whole other story, detailed in my article on hyperaesthesia.
Hypersensitivity difficulties
A great emotional ability can be the source of many ailments. Yes, yes. For example,children with extremely early high potentialMe. I always felt attacked by my emotions. They were too strong, and I had a lot of trouble managing them when I was younger. I thought I was too sensitive, too emotional, I had the emotions on my skin. I was anxious becauseallhurt me, but also tense because I gradually noticed that others didn't feel things like me. I was wonderin' for little, they for little.
In fact, this heightened sensitivity causes zebras to feel different from others. So they put in place a defense system called false self. It is a public facade that protects the outside world. A kind of mask or second personality that conforms to society and protects our little sensitive hearts from emotional overload. In the gifted, this false self is also used to camouflage the different cognitive functioning related to the top intellectual quotient and the gift. It is therefore super practical, because it allows to forge the perfect character line: a little sensitive, emotional and empathetic – but not too much! Especially Not too much. Besides.
In my view, the danger of hypersensitivity lies in its mismanagement. Understand that emotions are great to live in (and you must also live them!). So I think that in this sense being hypersensitive is a gift. However, they must not govern us and make us live the daily emotional roller coasters. In this regard,Emotional intelligence is a great tool!
Being sensitive can lead to two bad situations. The first, therefore, is to be completely carried away by his emotions – what we have just talked about. The second, which is the one in which I was, comes when the false self takes too much part in our lives. So important that the real self has fled very deep into ourselves, to the point of sometimes having a little (many) trouble finding him and remembering what he looks like. It is therefore essential to know how to manage your hypersensitivity, to be able to flourish.
4 steps to better manage hypersensitivity
As agreed, here is a four-step approach to better managing hypersensitivity. It seems to me perfectly trace the mental path that I had made on my side.
1 – Be aware of your hypersensitivity
The first step to better managing hypersensitivity is to know what it is. If you are reading these lines, then you are already on the right track. Next, it must be recognized that one is a hypersensitive person – or at least that one has different emotional behaviours. For this, the potential help of a psychologist can be an asset.
In my case, I realized that "something was wrong" in primary school. I can't say exactly in what class – it still dates! – but I remember very clearly the feeling of not being in my place and of lag with my comrades. Besides, it's brutal the recreation class. For a simple damaged Pokémon card or a sweater deemed ugly we find ourselves hated and left on the side. Sometimes we were going to play football with my friends. I always ended up crying because I wasn't quickly chosen as a teammate. With all these negative emotions, hello self-esteem. Fortunately, I was able to be happy because it was beautiful outside and I saw a bird in the trees through the window (he had to be happy with this bird because he had a beautiful tree to land on), or because my new pen had written a beautiful blue as I loved.
Anyway, I was different. I was (too) content, (too) sad, (too) interested, (too) stressed, (too) amazed or (too) excited – but never A little bit. With the hindsight and the few memories I have, I realize that my hypersensitivity has always been present. And when people tell me about my behavior when I was even younger, I also see it through my gestures and reactions. It's very touching.
2 - Accepting our hypersensitivity
Now that you have observed hypersensitive behaviours in you, let's go to the second step to manage its hypersensitivity: acceptance. For a long time, I saw my feelings exacerbated as a bad thing. Besides, my great empathy made me too sensitive to the emotions of others. These bad points are totally legitimate. However, they allow to develop many new (belle) skills!
For starters, empathy is double-edged. It also brings great opportunities and is a quality sought after in company. Second, intuition is particularly developed by hypersensitivity. Just like that.extra-lucidity, or creativity. A great emotional sensitivity allows you to become passionate about what you do, and want to create a better world.
In fact, we must see hypersensitivity as a super power that makes things more beautiful, more intense, deeper. Only, like every great power, must be able to control it so that it does not control us.
Accepting hypersensitivity is, in fact, just accepting the fact that people feel certain things differently. It's neither serious nor dangerous. We have a greater sensitivity to the world, it has more colors.
3 – Mastering hypersensitivity
Comparison with the superpower to be controlled leads perfectly to the third stage: control of hypersensitivity. Being hypersensitive means being an emotional sponge. You absorb people's emotions and energies. You feed on it. But like any sponge, you sometimes need to be blown out. Otherwise, you're going to rot (and that's not what we're looking for!). So for that, you have to let your emotions evacuate. It's called it.emotional regulation.
A solution offers you to free yourself from these sensory and emotional loads: to isolate you. Hypersensitive needs rest. Indeed, being alone will give you the opportunity to spend time with yourself, to get to know yourself and your emotions. It might sound a little ridiculous like that, but when I had run too far into my fake self I sometimes had trouble finding myself and knowing what I loved Really.. Not the Paul that people know. The True Paul. So M-isoler did the greatest good. So be careful, it's not about sitting (only) looking out the window – unless that's what you want. Instead, I recommend doing some activities, such as art (writing, music, drawing, etc.) or anti-stress activities (sport, meditation, for example). Do activities with yourself to see what you love, and especially how you feel by doing it. And then, surround yourself with positive energies, like nature that will allow you to reconnect with the world, or with people around you who are encouraging.
4 - Love and not be hard on yourself
It was by doing this big introspection work that I made amazing discoveries about myself:
- No, I don't like to be in the club every weekend when that's what I've been doing for several years. Finally, I prefer good food, a book and early sleep to enjoy the next day;
- Yes, I had a lot of feelings that I had hidden at the bottom of me behind a frigid facade;
- In fact, I don't really like shopping – even though I'm gay;
- I really like museums, but not works. I like museums for people who go there. Generally, they are curious and open people, ready to discover new things. And I like that. Art, I don't understand.
These discoveries – sometimes uninteresting – have had an incredible effect on me. Just because it's me. He's here, the real Paul. That's him. I have my eyes stinging just at the writing of these lines (ah, hypersensitivity). In fact, when I discovered myself, I accepted myself. Totally. I loved myself. It's really weird to say, but I've (re)represented myself. And I liked what I found. It was this hypersensitivity that made me, a gifted little child, the man I am today.
Even today, my emotions are upsetting me. It happens every day, even several times a day. But instead of putting them in a drawer and ignoring them, I kiss them. They make me what I am, and I love who I am. I do not think that expressing them every time is relevant (and I would look completely crazy), but in any case they should not be ignored and should be accepted. That's what I'm doing now, and I regularly repeat this process of isolation – even a few hours over there.
Conclusion on managing hypersensitivity
Many people (including me before) mistakenly think that sensitivity is a fragility. No. To show sensitivity is actually to show humanity. It is the very nature of man. Thus, it is important for everyone to release their emotional potential.
To learn how to better manage your hypersensitivity, I recommend this method in 4 steps:
- Awareness of its extreme sensitivity: look at your behavior and reaction with an external eye. Do you see any hypersensitive tendencies?
- Acceptance of excessive sensitivity: If so, understand that hypersensitivity is a gift. It's your superpower. You see the world differently, with more life, more colors, more intensity.
- Management and control of its special beautiful sensitivity: sometimes you will be overwhelmed by your emotions and those of others. It's normal, but you have to learn to release pressure sometimes so you don't get hurt. For this, isolate yourself a little bit and practice an activity that you like and allows you to focus on yourself.
- Self-love: having a sensitivity like yours is a blessing. When you have accepted and manage it, you will be able to love yourself. Above all, don't be hard on yourself.
Sources
- Tess (TEDx Reunion),How to live with hypersensitivity, 2019.
