Emotional intelligence: what is it?

Emotional intelligence is usually one of the skills of aHighly Sensitive Person. It is measured with the EQ emotional quotient (allowing it to differentiate from the quotient)intellectual It measures cognitive intelligence).

TheHIPindeed work a lot to the affective and with their intuition. Their emotions often "overtake" and emotional overload must be managed. This hurricane of negative and positive emotions can shake self-esteem.

In parallel,cognitive skillstend to rationalize and measure emotions. In my case, for example, I tend to defuse my emotions to try to understand where they come from and how they work to try to defuse them emotionally. It is, I think, the emotional overload mixed with the need to explain the emotions that allow to develop an emotional intelligence.

Definition of emotional intelligence

Psychologists Salovey and Mayer (we'll come back after them) describe emotional intelligence as " a form of intelligence that presupposes the ability to control one's feelings and emotions and those of others, to distinguish between them and to use that information to direct one's thoughts and gestures " For example, emotional regulation It's part of it.

History of Emotional Intelligence

The term Emotional Intelligence seems to be coming into the literature as early as the 1960s in several scientific articles. Nevertheless, it was only in 1983 that the notion of multiple intelligences was democratized by the release of Howard Gardner's book " Frames of Mind : Theory of Multiple Intelligences " He explains that current intelligence models fail to fully explain the cognitive capacity of individuals. He therefore presents his idea of multiple intelligence including (in addition to "classical" intelligence):

• Intelligence interpersonal: the ability to understand relationships between individuals, such as intentions, motivations or desires;
• Intelligence intrapersonal: self-understanding (our fears, motivations, feelings, etc.).

Soon after (1987) it is the idea of an emotional quotient that arrives – in order to compare with the idea of an intellectual quotient. Keith Beasley evokes in British magazine Mensa.

Subsequently, three major models of emotional intelligence study emerged: Salovey and Mayer (1990), Goleman (1995), and Bar-On (1997). Each model gives variables that would allow an individual to study the emotional quotient. I will come back to it in more detail later (because they deserve to be studied!).

Factors that influence emotional intelligence

In March 2018, scientists (a team from the University of Paris Diderot, Cambridge University and Institut Pasteur) published an incredible study in Translational Psychiatry conducted on 46,000 people. They show that empathy is genetically determined by 11 variations in chromosomes. Nevertheless, they also believe that these genetic variations do not explain "that" 10% of empathic differences between humans. On the other hand, they found that women have a higher empathic quotient than men. This would be due to the influence of biological (and non-genetic) factors such as prenatal hormones or other environmental factors (e.g. how to socialize, or education).

In short,empathy (so the ability to identify with others in what they feel, thus forming part of emotional intelligence) depends in part on genetic and environmental factors. One could thus (pushing the plug a little far) manage to predict and program empathy and emotional intelligence of some populations on the planet. Fascinating.

Different types of mental operations

Many scientists agree on the existence of three types of mental operations: motivation, emotions and cognitions. From time to time, a fourth mental operation happens: consciousness (I don't take it into account here).

Reason

Motivation occurs as a result of external factors as well as man's "basic" engines (e.g. hunger, thirst, social contact, and sexual desire). Basically, motivation is there to make us survive and allow us to reproduce. It is often associated with the reptilian brain. Finally, it follows a specific cycle and is satisfied in a very specific way: one is thirsty until one has drunk enough water, one is hungry until one is clean, etc. Eating is not going to satisfy our thirst. Each motivation is satisfied in a precise way.

Emotions

Emotions appear to cause a reaction to perceived change. This change can be real or imaginary. The goal is to protect – or at least interact – with our environment. For example, fear is the answer to perceived danger. Anger responds to threat or injustice. Unlike motivations, emotions do not follow a specific cycle. First of all, they depend on the perception of each (the danger is not perceived in the same way as our neighbour). Then the reactions they cause may vary. For example, fear can cause attack or escape. Emotions are therefore more flexible than motivations. We're here in the limbic system of our brain.

Cognitions

Finally, it is thanks to cognitions that we learn from our environment and are able to solve problems in situations never seen. It is this cognitive learning that has enabled man to evolve over the millennia. The aim of this learning – apart from evolution – is to always be able to satisfy motivations and create and maintain positive emotions. It takes place in three stages: (1) learning, (2) memory, and (3) problem solving. Here we are in the neocortex of our brain.

Keep these 3 mental operations working. Indeed, the different models of emotional intelligence (which we will see right after) are not all in the same places of the brain.

Emotional intelligence models

As promised, we are now talking about the three main models of emotional intelligence. If you are interested in the subject, you must have fallen on it. They are, however, a little complicated and quite technical, so I propose a simplification.

Salovey and Mayer's model

Peter Salovey and John Mayer are two American psychology scholars. In 1990 they presented the first model to conceptualize emotional intelligence. According to them, emotional intelligence lies at the intersection of two mental operations: emotions and cognitions. Their idea is that individuals have different abilities to process emotional information and to establish links between these emotional loads and their cognition. According to them, emotional intelligence consists of two dimensions:

1. An experiential dimension: the individual perceives and manipulates emotional information. However, he is not yet able to understand it.
2. A strategic dimension: the individual is able to understand and manage perceived emotions.

Each dimension is then divided into two intermediate steps, as shown below. First of all, we perceive emotion. Then we're like this. Then we understand her. And finally, we manage it. Basically, the model of Salovey and Mayer indicates the steps needed to move from simple perception and expression of emotions to complete empathic management.

1. Emotional perception

The first step / ability of emotional intelligence is therefore, according to Salovey and Mayer, the identification of emotions (his and others'). It is therefore a question of being able to understand what one feels and how others feel. Next, the person must learn to convey the needs that are directly related to his or her emotions. In short, it is about being aware of emotions and being able to express them correctly to others.

2. Emotional assimilation

Last step of the experiential dimension: emotional assimilation. Here, it is a matter of distinguishing between different emotions felt. The goal is to recognize those that influence cognition. So after recognizing emotions, we make sure to understand how they affect our thoughts.

3. Understanding emotions

Now that we experience emotions well, we move on to the strategic dimension. Initially, Salovey and Mayer recommend paying attention to complex emotions (for example, when we experience two emotions at a time). Untie each other's emotions. In parallel, understand how transitions between emotions work. For example, the best known chain is certainly the curve of mourning: shock, denial, anger, fear, sadness, acceptance, forgiveness, renewal, serenity. It is necessary to go through all these steps to move forward!

4. Emotional management

Fourth and final step: the management of emotions. To close the loop, you must be able to keep an emotion depending on its usefulness. Choose to live it or control it. I'm saying that. control and not abandon, because I think it is important to express each of his emotions. You just have to be careful about his timing.

Goleman's Model

The second model of emotional intelligence we will see is Daniel Goleman, a psychologist and scientific journalist. In fact, he read the works of Salovey and Mayer when they were published in 1990 and was very inspired by them. Five years and much later (in 1995) he published a book that would become a reference in the community: Emotional Intelligence. It is this book that has greatly democratized the emotional quotient all over the world. He describes a 5-axis model:

1. Recognizing His Emotions
2. Managing your emotions
3. Motivation
4. Recognizing others' emotions
5. Mastering social relations

1. Recognize your emotions and have self-consciousness

In his book on emotional intelligence, Daniel Goleman explains that self-consciousness and emotions are the first step. That's why it's important to recognize your emotions when they appear. If we do not understand them and are not aware of them, we are at their mercy. Otherwise, we can make much better decisions.

2. Managing your emotions and controlling yourself

Managing your emotions and controlling yourself allows you not to be anxious or irritable. It is thanks to this management that we can recover in the event of failure (and not go to a corner). Otherwise, we will remain in perpetual distress.

3. Motivation

Internal motivation in achieving a goal is part of the emotional intelligence according to Daniel Goleman. Be careful, however, that it is a matter of achieving an internal goal. For example, money or status does not count. This is the desire for personal achievement and not for rapid gratification.

4. Recognizing others' emotions: empathy

Empathy is a key relational skill. Thus, an empathic person will be much more sensitive to subtle social signals that will indicate the wishes and/or needs of others. She can treat them according to their emotional reactions because she feels how they feel.

5. Mastering social relations

The mastery of social relations is mainly based on the ability to manage the emotions of others. A priori, the people we appreciate are those who are able to take into account what we feel. It can therefore be said that they master their social relations by mastering their emotional environment. For example, it is an essential quality in a manager/leader.

As you can see, Goleman's model is at the level of emotions and cognitions of mental operations. However, it takes something more into account. The theme is much wider than just emotional treatment. Moreover, it is not, according to him, a kind of talent that one has (or does not have) but a well-educated ability that one must develop and perfect in order to achieve something exceptional. In his book, he writes: " There is an old word to represent all the skills related to emotional intelligence: character " Thus, he sees emotional intelligence as something very vast.

The Bar-On model

Last but not least The Bar-On model. Our dear Reuven Bar-On is the Director of the Institute of Applied Intelligences of Denmark as well as expert consultant to various organizations in Israel. He continues in the lead of Goleman and proposes to deepen the idea of emotional quotient evoked in 1987 by Keith Beasley. It has only one goal: to be able to measure emotional intelligence, a bit like measuring cognitive intelligence with the intellectual quotient. So that's what he did in 1997. Its model is structured around 5 axes:

1. Intrapersonal skills: our individual expression
2. Interpersonal skills: our social relationships
3. Adaptability: our ability to make decisions
4. Stress management
5. General mood, our perception of ourselves

1. Individual expression, or our intrapersonal skills

Our individual expression is our ability to create a precise and faithful image of ourselves, and then to use it effectively in life. The goal is to recognize and understand our emotions to better express them. To do this, Bar-We recommend three sub-steps: (1) express openly its emotions and feelings, verbally or non-verbally, (2) assert – whether at the sentimental level or at the level of its beliefs – in a non-aggressive manner, and (3) remain free from emotional and autonomous dependence.

2. Human relationships, or our interpersonal skills

According to Bar-On, human relations represent our ability to understand the other and to communicate with him. Thus, we can achieve mutually satisfactory relationships that are characterized by sharing emotions. To do this, we must (1) have good human relations through the maintenance of these relationships of trust and compassion, (2) demonstrate empathy and (3) social responsibility – that is, demonstrate social awareness to help a community as a whole.

3. Decision-making, or Adaptability

Here, Bar-We intend to make a decision or adapt to accept or modify a situation. For example, you can adjust your emotions or behaviours. To do this, one must (1) know how to solve an emotional problem (which involves emotions and their understanding), (2) see things as they are, not veiled by emotion, and (3) control his emotional impulses. Basically, it is a matter of making a thoughtful decision and not of too much emotion.

4. Stress management

Stress management means that we are able to cope with a stressful situation. For this, we adapt to it effectively, positively and quickly. Thus, Bar-It is recommended to show (1) flexibility by adapting your emotions and behaviours to the context, (2) tolerance to stress by understanding that if everyone stresses the situation becomes even more stressful, and (3) optimism.

5. Self-perception, or general mood

Finally, Bar-On proposes a final axis around the perception of self and our general mood. He invites to keep a positive thought. Indeed, according to him, looking only at the bright side of things can easily feel satisfied and enjoy what life brings us. Thus, (1) show self-esteem by respecting yourself and accepting your strengths and weaknesses, (2) realize yourself: set yourself relevant personal goals that will enrich you, and (3) be grateful and compassionate to your emotions.

To conclude briefly on this part, know that these 5 axes will give you an emotional quotient (EQ). Bar-It is estimated that cognitive intelligence contributes as much as emotional intelligence to a person's overall intelligence. Thus, the emotional quotient (EQ) can, as well as the intellectual quotient (IQ), give an indication of the potential for success in life. According to him, adjustment problems are very common in people with disabilities in either of the EQ axes. And the opposite also works: a person with a high emotional quotient will have a great chance of success in life.

By the way, did you notice how the Bar-On model is practically not about the types of mental operations?

Applications of Emotional Intelligence

Unfortunately, there are still too few studies published on the potential applications of emotional intelligence in our daily lives. The general trend – supported by the founders of the three previous models – believes that high emotional intelligence would be a crucial factor for success. Nevertheless, there are two studies that focus on its applications in the professional world: within negotiation and entrepreneurship (yes, there is emotional intelligence at work).

The contribution of emotional intelligence to negotiation

The first date of 2010 is on negotiation. Emotions and their management are at the heart of the negotiation process as it is a communication activity with interactions between different stakeholders. Researchers have shown that salespeople with high emotional intelligence are generally better negotiators. Indeed, they were more able to propose creative solutions, had more verbal ability and reasoning – whatever the person's profile in front of them (rather cooperative or competitive).

The contribution of emotional intelligence to entrepreneurship

The second was in 2012 and focuses on entrepreneurship. The researchers asked several successful entrepreneurs to self-assess according to 18 emotional skills. The 7 winning competencies are: (1) self-confidence, (2) reliability of success orientation, (3) service orientation, (4) ability to change, (5) teamwork and collaboration, (6) reliability, and (7) ability to maintain honest and integrity standards. Doesn't that remind you of anything? Go up a little higher, and you will see that these are all characteristics of previous models of emotional intelligence. CQFD.

Even though, as I said, few studies are still available on the subject, I remain convinced that many will see the light and demonstrate the importance of emotional intelligence in management as well as in many other subjects of our everyday life.

Conclusion: developing emotional intelligence

In conclusion, emotional intelligence is the ability to understand one's emotions and those of others, and then analyze them to behave in the most appropriate and relevant way depending on the situation. It is a question of studying his fears, his joys, his desires to cry, to better interpret them. Overall, the three models of emotional intelligence studied earlier could be summarized as follows:

1. Analysis and understanding of my feelings
2. Analysis and understanding of others' feelings
3. Behaviour adapted to the situation

The emotional intelligence process is not innate. He's working. Thus, by training, you can improve your emotional quotient (EQ). Kind of like you'd do for a muscle. At the beginning, it is important to carefully decorate the movement, step by step. Gradually, he does himself, automatically. So the next time you feel an emotion (a little too strong) invade you, follow the following process to develop your emotional intelligence:

1. Stop Stop and calm down. Above all, don't act.
2. In your head : define the problem and how you feel it. Then look for a positive and constructive solution. If possible, find more. And analyze the consequences of each solution.
3. Go Try the best of your plans.

This will allow you to take the time to think about each situation in order not to react hot and cause consequences that you do not want.

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