Hello! Today we will be interested in how hypersensitive people feel their emotions. In fact you were really a lot to interact with my last video about the hit I wanted to deepen.
If you are a hypersensitive person, stay well to the end because I will give you many tips not to feel completely overwhelmed by your emotions. Indeed, we are going to talk about a technique ofEmotional intelligence : emotional regulation. Without her knowledge you will not control your emotions and she will govern you.
My name is Paul and my high potential was discovered more than ten years ago now. And today I decided to share everything I learned about Connect The Dots.
NB: This article is the transcript of the above video.
Life is made of emotions
Life is made of emotions and it doesn't matter who we are, our sex, our origin, our personality... Life is emotions.
Despite all this, you have certainly noticed that some of us feel them more than others. Your sadness can for example completely crush you. Your joy makes you feel light as if you were walking on a small cloud. You can cry easily. Or be much more stressed than others. For example, I was always told " Come on, Paul, be a man. Stop crying" . But I couldn't have been like that.
But rest assured if you ever have feelings that seem much bigger and more important to you than others, it's normal. It's science. Let me explain.
That's all the people on Earth. Well, among these people, there are about 15 to 20 percent who are called people. hypersensitive. It's that actually they're going to be stimulated in depth, and finally they're going to treat this stimulation in depth rather. It is also high sensitivity, a strong sensory treatment, a high emotional potential... there are many names to designate this thing. I make it clear right away that it is something quite normal and healthy. It's not a disease. Don't worry.
This hypersensitivity is also present inZebra persons. That's why I'm talking about it on this channel. The gifted people are therefore hypersensitive. But not all hypersensitive people have high potential.
Hypersensitive people feel negative emotions more intensely
Today we will be interested in some scientific studies that I have selected because they come to demonstrate how much emotion is felt very strongly in hypersensitive people. The first is a study that was published in Australia in 2015. The researchers involved 150 participants aged 18-60. These 150 people completed a survey in which they were asked about their level of stress, anxiety, or other information about their emotions – but it was very emotionally negative.
Then the researchers interviewed these 150 people. They passed on ahypersensitivity testby Elaine Aron, who defined whether they were hypersensitive or not.
What they concluded (it was a little depressed the first time reading it) is that hypersensitive people were (a little unsurprisingly) much more aware of negative feelings. They lived them much more intensely than any anxiety, stress, depression, sadness. All these negative feelings and emotions were experienced in a much stronger way.
Hypersensitive people are more sensitive to positive emotions
So as I said to you it may seem depressing, but I continued to read scientific studies and I wanted to talk to you now about another one that was published a year later (certainly following this one, I don't know) and in which this time they showed participants images that had a strong emotional load, that were emotionally intense. Then these four illustrations are not at all those images that they showed them. It was just to illustrate my words. So these images were shown to 100 people. Of these 100 people, half were hypersensitive and the other half were not hypersensitive (so 50 and 50).
And then they were asked to talk about their feelings. Exactly as in the study before basically. And what comes out is that, yes, there were negative emotions that were experienced more intensely, but positive emotions, positive emotional intensity, were even stronger and she took over.
So keep in mind that in hypersensitive lows are very low, but the highs are very high too. We need to talk about it, we're not just sad people all the time in hypersensitive people. We can also be super happy and I find it important to note. If you haven't seen my previous article on the hypersensitive brain function I really invite you to read it. Mainly the part where I was talking about a study where they passed MRIs and we saw the parts of the brain that activated.
What is emotional regulation?
So what do we do about it for our emotions and managing our hypersensitivity ?
Actually, there's something called emotional regulation. You have certainly heard of it. What the hell is that? So it's a little new subject that I read quickly. There are still few studies on it so maybe you'll have to wait and take it with tweezers, but I think it's interesting to have it in mind anyway. What they find (grosso modo) is that hypersensitive people do much less emotional regulation than others. They practice it less.
What's that all about? (I forgot to say it). We're taking an emotion. This emotion is the physiological, behavioural, and experiential response to the assessment of a situation. So the interpretation and assessment of this situation creates emotion. This emotion we manage in our own way. It is this management and regulation that is called emotional regulation. It's that simple.
It's gonna be like, if you're frustrated or upset, are you taking a step back? Are you going to walk in times of stress? If you're angry, can you find reasons to laugh?
It really is this way of regulating emotion, of accompanying it to transform it. It is not at all about locking up and not living it. It is really about accompanying her to get her out in a healthy and non-destructive way. So why are hypersensitive people doing it less? We don't know... Is it because we've long been invaded and abused by our emotions? We don't know. Maybe we treat emotions so deeply (including negative emotions) that they will stay a little longer in us. I don't know if it's clear. Maybe since we live them very hard, It also takes more time for these emotions to go away. I don't know. Scientists don't know too much yet so I don't want to get in there. What they just noticed is that hypersensitive people do less this emotional regulation.
Emotional regulation in 5 steps
Nevertheless, here are some tips to improve your own emotional regulation. It takes five steps.
(1) The first step is to accept his feeling. As I told you, we mustn't turn him back. We must accept it, take into account that it is there, that we live it, and that it is normal. In addition to accepting it, there is a big part of realization and identification of our emotions.
(2) Then you must not be ashamed of it. When I was little I was told " Paul is a man you must not cry And so I was ashamed to cry. Don't. Emotions are something natural and there is no shame in having it. It's gonna be rather shameful to be either in sad, depressed states, rather negative emotions. We will generally be less ashamed to be happy. But it doesn't matter whether you accept it or be ashamed of it.
(3) Then you have to trust that you can manage as well as others. And what it is in managing these feelings and emotions or what caused this feeling.
(4) Step four, realizing that negative feelings do not last long – at last will not last forever. For example, disappointments in love happened to us all. At the moment it's the end of the world, but every day it's still a little better. That's always it. You may have died in your surroundings. It's very hard when it happens, but little by little we get back. It's a little better. And even if when it happens you feel like it's never gonna be better, back then you realize that you learn to live with it and that it's better. So when it happens, the next time it happens to you, remember that it will be better and that the situation you are in, you certainly have already lived (and it has been better after).
(5) The last step concerns the emotions on which one can do something. A death can't do much. We have to manage it, but the person can't revive it. On the other hand, if you're sad because you've done something stupid in love, you can try to settle the situation (or at least fix it or make it go a little better). That's the stage. If there is a possibility to do something to manage, to improve a somewhat negative feeling, do it. It might also work when you're angry or stressed. I do it all the time. I'm a very stressed person and I need to walk every day, to do something. It's also that stage.
Emotional regulation technique: cognitive brain and emotional brain
Another strategy I found interesting is to imagine that we have two brains: a brain that is going to be emotional and a brain rather cognitive.
The cognitive brain is the one used to do reason. He's rational. It is factual and helps to control emotions.
When our emotional brain (our hypersensitivity) goes mad it takes over. When this moment arrives (that the emotional brain takes over) usually the cognitive brain tends to fall asleep. That's why emotions make us leave in every direction.
What it takes is, in those moments, to get back in operation, to walk the cognitive brain again, to put it online. How can we do that? For example, by talking about his feelings, verbalizing them or at least writing them if you can't talk. When you have a moment of great emotion, whether you are experiencing something that is hard to manage, try to call someone or write on a piece of paper. " I feel sad because there was this and I feel it like that and it makes me feel that" . It will allow you to put words on this emotion and delimit it.
For example, if you're at the office and there's a very sad moment, go and lock yourself in the bathroom, go for a walk, do something. Isolate yourself so you can put words on it, take some time. Ask yourself questions regularly: " How am I?« , « Do I feel emotions? This is a preventive approach.
To do this I really invite you to do meditation. I started very seriously at the beginning of 2021 (this is my good resolution of the year to make it every day!) but it has been a few years that I did it anyway. It really helps a lot (when there are emotions that overload me) to step back and tell me "Okay, Paul, it's not going there because you feel that emotion because of it." . I give him a name for that emotion. I see where she comes from. I put limits on her and it helps me to better manage her and especially not feel invaded by her.
Sources
- Acevedo B., Aron E., Jagiellowicz J., Marhenke R., (Clinical Neuropsychiatry),Sensory processing awareness and childhood quality, 2017.
- Aron A., Aron E. (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology),Sensory-Processing Sensitivity and Its Relationship to Introversion and Emotionality, 1997.
- Aron A., Aron E., Jagiellowicz J., (Social Behavior and Personality),Relationship between the temperament trait of sensory processing sensitivity and emotional reactivity, 2016.
- Aron E.,The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, 1997.
- Bakker K., Brindle K., Moulding R., Nedeljkovic M., (Australian Journal of Psychology),Is the relationship between sensory-processing sensitivity and negative affect mediated by emotional regulation?, 2015.
- Harvard Medical School,Major Depression, What Is It?, 2018.
- National Institute of Mental Health,Borderline Personality Disorder.
