Do you ever feel different, misunderstood or rejected? The others don't understand you? Are you lonely? In this article I will explain why you feel like this. You will also see the three key steps to get out of it and regain confidence in yourself. In short, stay well to the end because we're going to see the technique that nobody talks about to get out of the depressive spiral.
My name is Paul and my hypersensitivity was detected more than ten years ago now. And today, on Connect The Dots, I share what I learned to help new ones.
NB: This article is the transcript of the video above
The feeling of difference in hypersensitiveness
So have you ever had the feeling I'm going to describe?
You feel different without really knowing why. You feel misunderstood and even feel "extraterrestrial" so different. The others don't understand you. And besides, you don't necessarily understand them either. So the problem is, you feel alone because you don't understand others and they don't understand us. You feel alone. We stay alone in our corner, we don't really dare go to others. Then we lock up.
The problem is that it is a vicious circle. Like I said, we feel different. And the more you feel different, the more you lock up. The more we lock up, the more others find us different. And the more they find us different, the more we persuade ourselves and feel different. And the wheel goes on. It's really a vicious circle. What comes out of it is that we end up lacking confidence in ourselves. We stay stuck, misunderstood of the world and misunderstood of others.
Above all, stay well because I'll explain why you're like this. In fact, you have a personality called atypical. This atypical personality is that you are a hypersensitive person.
What is hypersensitivity?
So what is hypersensitivity? It is divided into two categories, two parts.
Emotional hypersensitivity
There's first hypersensitivity emotional. It is the fact of having very strong emotions. We're very emotionally sensitive. We have ups and downs all day. Finally it is even very high and very low (real roller coasters!) all day long, several times a day. It's very hard. Our emotions are very strong. You can be very sad, very happy, very angry... you are always "very".
Hypersensitive is also easily upset by small things. It could be a movie that we're gonna find very sad and it's been shaking us for several days. It could be a discussion we saw, we had, with someone who really bothers us. Or then just the beauty of the world, a bird song that disturbs us and that reaches us deeply.
Above all, we are very empathic people. They say we're people. hyperempathes Because we're doing hyperempathy. It's the fact that hypersensitive people permeate the emotions of others. We don't just see the emotions and understand them, we feel them completely. If our friend tells us that he (she) is sad, we will become sad too. Really emotion we've got. You're more than a mirror, you become the person, you totally permeate your emotions, you feel them.
Sensory hypersensitivity
The second part after emotional hypersensitivity is hypersensitivity which is called sensory (sometimes you will see it noted under the name of hyperaesthesiaIt's a little more scientific).
What is it? Before it was the hypersensitivity of our emotions, and there is the hypersensitivity of our five senses: touch, hearing, smell, sight and taste. Actually these five senses are really crazy. It seems like they're too developed.
For example, we can be too hot, too cold (via our skin and therefore touch it). We can have the seams of the socks scratching us, the slightest clothing label that makes the garment importable. Or they're smells that completely bother us and make us want to vomit... while others feel almost nothing. You can quickly be dazzled by the light and have to wear sunglasses all the time. What is very strong about me is the little repetitive noises that are greatly distressing. They have to stop right now.
The gift of hypersensitives
So when we combine this emotional hypersensitivity and sensory hypersensitivity, we say that these hypersensitive people develop a sixth sense. That is, you can feel the emotion and the atmosphere of a room. When you enter a place you can see directly if there are tensions, if anything happens.
Also, when you see someone, when you meet the person, you directly know how she is. We get a quick opinion on people, and a view that is mostly true. You know how to read people, you know how to decipher them. This comes from our hypersensitivity because we get the smallest small signals that the other sends back and we feel his emotion.
Then we could feel like this is a gift, almost a superpower. But sometimes it's too much. We have too much emotion, too much information, and we can't. Others also tend to tell us that we are "too much" people: too sensitive, too joyful, too extreme, too sad, too much what you want. I think you've already been told. As long as I think about it, if you recognize yourself a little bit in everything I say, know that I'm offering to come by for free.hypersensitivity test. You can register below.
Now that you know a little more and you understand a little more about who you are, the question is what do we do with that? Okay, cool I'm hypersensitive, but what's that for? What do I do with it?
Depression and hypersensitivity
Then that's where the danger comes. Care must be taken not to sink into a negative or depressive spiral. That's what I tried to represent with this little scheme.
In fact, if we stay stuck in this difference, this hypersensitivity, we'll never get any better because we can start thinking that we're like this, that we're too sensitive, that we have too much emotion and that's all, that we don't have a choice, that it's us, that we're like that. So yes, you have no choice. You're like that. But in reality, it is possible to be a hypersensitive and happy person.
Your emotions don't have to govern you. For example, I'm a hypersensitive person. I knew with my psychologist over ten years ago now. At first I really had a hard time understanding this operation. I was not well, I was exactly the person I described at the beginning of the article. I was an alien. I didn't understand people and they didn't understand me. I was a little in my world. But after several years of psychotherapy and more than ten years of work on me and a lot of learning, I found a solution to manage his emotions anyway.
Moreover, I speak a little more deeply in my free training "3 days to connect to its hypersensitivity". This is a free e-mail training. I will send you emails in three days with huge knowledge bases and exercises to do so you can reconnect now to your hypersensitivity. I didn't talk about everything during this article because it would be too long. That's why I preferred to make you a kind of little intro to give you some basics, and then if you want to push the job through this free mini training.
3 solutions to manage hypersensitivity
Nevertheless, here are three solutions to help you not sink into the negative spiral that we have just talked about.
1. Accept as hypersensitive
The first solution is to accept. We can agree to work like this. That's to say, you have to say that you're okay to be like that, you're okay to say that others don't necessarily understand everything. I welcome my emotions and I welcome this difference. That is to say not necessarily to be ashamed of it and understand that it's like this, that there are things that others will not understand that we are not necessarily going to understand everything about others too. It works both ways. Above all, it's okay.
2. Drop her pride
The second solution is to drop his pride. There it is more in the sense that, given that one is different, one may tend to put this difference on a pedestal and say that "I am different, I am like this, I am particular" with a notion of almost a little superiority. "I'm different from you, I'm hypersensitive, I feel things you don't feel." This is bad because we become proud and it pushes us towards a great need for recognition. We need the others to recognize us and get on a pedestal. We have to try to drop that pride. We are different, but we are neither better nor better than others. We're just different.
3. Make a daily point
And finally the third solution is to make a daily point. You're going to have a lot of emotions in a day. Ups, downs, very highs and very lows. So you have to accept your emotions and not look at them from a proud point of view, but also sit down daily and say, "Okay, I felt that. Why did that happen to me? Where does it come from? What happened? How are we doing?"Really, try to understand where it comes from and what situation, what did we start to react like that? You can take walks to make those little fists every day. I really like walks and I tend to meditate. Then it's up to you to find your stuff. It can be by playing sports, listening to music... Find what suits you, but manage to make these little daily points where you are alone with yourself.
To go further in discovering your hypersensitivity
In any case, understand that you are not alone in your hypersensitivity. There are many other hypersensitive ones. Besides, there are many who help each other on my private discussion group you can join If you wish. It is a Facebook group reserved for hypersensitive people.
Remember the key message: you do not have to suffer from this hypersensitivity. As I said, I'm great. I live very well, but it doesn't happen overnight. It takes a little work anyway. You have to be motivated to get better.
For this, I can accompany you in this work via my free challenge "3 days to connect to its hypersensitivity". It is a quick mini training in which you will learn to differentiate your emotions from those of others, manage and evacuate your emotions. You can register by leaving your contact information above.
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